Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis
As I have discussions with people, scroll through social media and read various articles and books I realize I am not the only one struggling with quitting. I sit down in November or December of each year and I evaluate what I want to accomplish in the upcoming new year and kind of ignore what I didn’t put forth the effort to accomplish in the current year. I have my list of goals, usually a duplicate of years gone by and become excited about the new me I will see in the mirror at the end of the next year. On my list I have:
- a better relationship with God goal,
- of course I have my lose weight goal,
- be debt free goal,
- save money goal,
- grow my business goal,
- be a better wife goal,
- travel goal, etc, etc.
For some of those goals I had a well thought out plan and some I kind of wing it. So, are you able to guess how many goals I was able to accomplish in 2016? I accomplished, 3 out of 10 of my goals. Why? Because I only put actual work and obtained knowledge and understanding behind the plans I laid out for 3 of my goals. The others were my, I’ll wing it goals; so I gave up on many of those goals throughout 2016.
So as I sat down to evaluate where I am in my life, I realize somewhere along the way I began quitting many things I set out to do. When and why did I become a quitter? My inner core relationships know me as the “come back kid.” No matter what life throws my way, I keep coming without hesitation. However, there was a season in my life that devastated me, my divorce. Maybe not the divorce (2009) by itself but the events (2007-2009) that led up to the divorce. It really rocked my world and I let go of so many parts of my character that made me, me and helped me to function and accomplish my goals in my life. Those around me could no longer count on me when I gave my word, heck, I couldn’t count on me. For nine years, I began a cycle of quitting. Other than working and focusing my attention on my grandbabies, I was not dependable for anything else.
This year in 2016, I got tired of being sick and tired and fearful, being a spectator of other peoples lives; so I made the decision to change my direction. I stopped isolating myself, I began to step outside of my comfort zone, I purged some relationships, I surrounded myself with people who were seeking out their passions and acting upon them. I incorporated new ways of doing things, took classes, served others, and leaned on my husband (marriage restored); all of this was through being obedient to the direction from the Holy Spirit and pushing past easy.
Out of the nine years of my quitting journey I learned:
- Change requires decisions, sound decisions and actions.
- I can desire the best out of life, but if I don’t plan and work the plan no matter how hard it gets to have the best, then I never truly desired the best.
- Know me, know my gifts, seek to know and understand my passions.
- Don’t compare my journey to someone else and don’t be distracted by the words or actions of others.
- I must know what I want to achieve. I should not be vague, but be specific enough without being anal retentive in order to create and work a plan. Does it involve training, a mentor, volunteers, a business plan, what’s the cost, etc?
- I must be flexible, in case plan A doesn’t work or needs adjusting I need to have plans B, C, D, E & F already laid out to prevent me from entertaining the idea of quitting.
- I must be willing to purge some unhealthy relationships.
- Have inspirational quotes, stories, music and like minded people around me to encourage me to persevere no matter the challenge.
- Most of all, by implementing the above items I have tools to combat the fear of failure.
My life during that time wasn’t clear until I made the decision to get to the root of why I became a quitter and became tired of existing. This part of my journey led me to a path of truth and transparency. It is that path that is unfolding opportunities and elevating a restored marriage. Want to know more? Keep checking in.