Tag: #empower

Posted in Evaluate, Goals, Inspiration, self reflection, Transparency

So Tell Me My Sister

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Author:  Cassandra Dennis

So tell me my Sister, what are your dreams, your fantasies, your goals to achieve?  Your purpose, your mission, your plan to weave?

What are your core values?  You know what I mean.

What defines your character, your worth?  You know those values that consistently redeem your moral compass, that under-girds your passion, that inspire and empower you to dream ABOVE average, to think ABOVE average and to live ABOVE average.

Crickets…. I can’t hear you my Sister.  Come out of the well of your mind, return to the light, follow my voice, explore, evaluate and retrieve your life.

Tell me, tell me, tell me my Sister, what happened in your life that depleted you, defeated you and embittered your mind to all mankind?

It is not my fault, I’m only extending a hand, but I will ask for forgiveness as I stand in the place of the One’s who hurt you.

My Sister STOP!

Don’t focus on the darkness.  Inside the bowels of your mind can be a slippery slope, which has the ability to envelope you into an abyss of no return.  Hear my voice, seek the footprints on the path that has already been laid out for your journey.  Focus on the intermittent lights that represent multiple hands of opportunity to redeem, renew and restore you.  Don’t pass that up for the land of self pity, for what has that land done for you lately?

I’m here my Sister.

Your life is YOURS to explore, YOURS to evaluate, YOURS to retrieve and YOURS to LIVE; but the choice to act is YOURS.

So Tell Me My Sister, what do you choose?

Posted in Goals, Inspiration

Hold Your Head Up…

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by:  Cassandra Dennis

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams.

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams, in spite of fear.

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams, without the support of others.

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams, regardless of resources.

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams, there is never a perfect time.

Hold your head up, know your worth, pursue your dreams because…

  • as you walk out your dream you will steam roll fear;
  • as you gain and apply knowledge, the naysayers will become your followers or your clients;
  • as you formulate, negotiate and barter to manifest your dream it strengthens & reveals the resources already available within you;
  • as your dream manifests you realize the missteps were not lessons in perfect timing, but in learning that opportunities avail at the point of preparation.

For these reasons, don’t allow your current circumstance distract you from the bigger picture.  After all it is temporary, that is if you decide to make it temporary.

So Hold your head up > Establish your worth > pursue, accomplish, manifest your dreams.

You got this.  Life: Own it, Don’t Blame it.

Posted in #relationships

That’s Right Neighborly of You

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

What was right neighborly?

  • Taking our laundry off the clothes line before it rained.
  • Mowing my lawn because my mower is kaput.
  • Walking my kids home from school because I was running late.
  • Cooking a meal for my family because we were ill or had death in the family.
  • Inviting my sons to play ball with you and your sons.
  • Asking me to carpool with you so we both save money.
  • Stopping by to check on me.
  • Checking our mail while we were on vacation.
  • Bringing us a Welcome to the Neighborhood basket.
  • Helping us pack and load the truck when we moved. Well this might have been because you were glad to see us go. Smile with a wink

This is how I grew up; with neighbors who became friends, then became family.

Do you remember the neighborhood block parties?  When we lived in the city limits our house was the block party house.  My parents invited the neighbors over for food, good old school music and plenty of board games or outdoor sport activities.  We all got to know each other, which made it easier for us to check on one another.

If there was bullying, the parents addressed it with each another, then with the kids and stopped it in its tracks.  Communication was key.  We were not afraid to talk to, laugh with or even disagree with each other.  It seems this is a distant memory.  Is “neighbor” a bad word now?  Seriously, is it?

I know things have changed, but I believe the heart of communities is still the love neighbors have for one another.  Help me disprove this fleeting thought of mine by sharing your BEST NEIGHBOR story in the comments below.

Posted in #relationships, Evaluate, Goals, Humanity, self reflection, Transparency

“A hard head makes a soft…”

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

 

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

I see the smirk on my Mom’s face and her index finger on her right hand wagging at me as she exclaims, “Oh, you gone learn, oh you gone learn, because a hard head makes a soft behind, Cassandra!”  Of course, I had this deer in headlights expression on my face like, “What? Me? What did I do now?”  If my acting game was on par, then I might even drop an innocent tear or two to sell my case.  But, my Mother never fell for the okie doke.

The expression, A hard head makes a soft behind refers to a person who insists on learning things the hard way or prefers to make their own mistakes, instead of adhering to the advice of someone who has overcome what they are experiencing.

So, why is that?  Why do we choose the hard ways of life, instead of listening to the wisdom of others?  I know I would have avoided many pitfalls when I was younger if I had stopped trying to be Miss Know-It-All or Miss I’m Grown-You Can’t Tell Me Anything.  There are times we don’t realize our poor decisions also affects those around us.  I know my decisions affected my family and my children, who I brought into the world at the age of 17.

One decision from 30 years ago still lingers with me.  I’ll share a brief snapshot.

After catching 3 buses and 2 rail lines to get home from work, I walked to the babysitter’s apartment who kept my 18-month-old sons from 6:00 pm to 6:30 pm, after the daycare center closed (and before you comment, yes, I researched her before I allowed her to keep my sons, spoke with other parents whose children she kept and made sure she didn’t have any record for abusing her own children).  I walked in to see one of my sons had scratch marks all over his face and upon further inspection I found whip marks on his back and legs. I was confused, angry, hurt and devastated.  I asked the neighbor coming home from work to call the police and my roommate called my parents.  I know sometimes things happen beyond our control, but let’s follow this thread of my decision back to the beginning.

  1. I made an adult decision at 17 to have unprotected sex.
  2. I made the decision to bring my sons into this world, care for and protect them, even though I only had $3k in the bank and at the time of their premature birth, no job.
  3. I made the decision to place my sons in the care of that babysitter.

My sons don’t remember this occurrence but it resonates with me because I failed to protect them both from experiencing the physical and psychological abuse.  Sometimes, we make decisions without knowing or understanding the full scope of what that decision entails.

My parents made the decision that they would care for my sons from that point forward when I needed them to.   As I worked 2 jobs and attended my college courses, my parents took my sons on family vacations with them, along with my two sisters.  My parents helped me nurse my sons when they were extremely ill, all while they continued to work as well.  My sons and my family experienced the growing pains of me maturing and learning how to be a mother, a provider and protector.

Our world is full of hard heads with soft behinds, but unfortunately, many of the behinds have gotten numb to the hard lessons of life.  It is my prayer that we all observe and learn from the experiences of others, and seek advice from those who gained wisdom from their experience.  This is one of the ways for us to empower each other to live a more productive and purpose driven life.

This journey called life continues to teach each of us, we are never to old to learn something new or to receive wisdom.   It is a fool who ignores wisdom, to erroneously justify that their age quantifies them as an adult that knows everything.

What have my life experiences taught me thus far?

  1.  Don’t allow my pride to keep me from obtaining wisdom from others.
  2. Don’t allow my mouth to write a check my behind can’t cash.  (Another good ole saying)!!  In other words, it’s easy to make a decision, but am I able to survive or live with the consequences of my decision.
  3. My support tribe (safety nets) don’t abandon me, but I can wear out my safety nets by abusing them.
  4. My Life is mine, so I choose to own it and not blame it away.
Posted in Evaluate

Stay in Your Lane

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

Early one morning I approached a traffic light in Avondale Estates at about 6 am. I stopped at the red light as oncoming traffic with the right of way proceeded through the intersection.  Once the intersection was clear, before I turned right, I looked both ways and made sure there was no sign that said, No Turn On Red. I saw a bus in the short distance and I was trying to see if the bus was going to make another stop or if I could make my turn before the bus proceeded through the intersection.  While I was going through this process a car pulled up behind me and blew the horn.  It startled me a little and I almost pulled out into the intersection.  Instead, I looked in my rear view mirror and rolled my eyes.  At that time another car pulled around the bus coming through the intersection and swerved into the lane I would have been in if I had allowed the impatience of the car behind me to invoke me to move against my better judgement.  The car behind me wasn’t in a position to see the bus coming, and neither one of us saw the car behind the bus until it was in the intersection.

Sometimes life is just like that.  We are evaluating what is the better decision based upon our view, timing, finances, and taking into consideration the risks to ourselves and possibly others.  When someone else who does not have skin in the game, the same view as we do or who does not have all the information comes along and attempts to push their opinion or perspective upon us; not based upon any factual knowledge or even personal experience but only their opinion or feelings.  If we disregard our own perspective and act out of fear or upon the ill advice of a random person, we sometimes place ourselves and others in situations that could have been avoided.  If we had just been confident with the information we researched or wisdom we received from a mentor or our inner core relationships the outcome could have been different.

That early morning experience made me think beyond the intersection, it made me realize sometimes I act like the person in the car that was behind me.  I allow my impatience and emotions about another persons decision get me all riled up. Why am I upset over someone else’s decision?  I don’t know their back story, I am not standing in their shoes nor experiencing what they are experiencing or even see what they see.  Did THEIR decision even impact me?  Yet I want to comment or share my opinion about THEIR decision.

Comment: a verbal or written remark expressing an opinion or reaction.

Opinion: a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

I’m learning to evaluate my emotions prior to me verbalizing or acting upon them.

  1. Am I privy to factual information regarding that person, even if I am is it my place to share it?
  2. Since I’m not standing in their shoes, I am not privy to their view of the situation, nor am I privy to any information they may have which impacted their decision.
  3. Did their decision negatively impact me or close loved ones personally?
  4. Since I believe in God and His word is true, He uses me to bring light to darkness, He goes before us to make crooked paths straight, and His second great commandment  didn’t change, I still must love my neighbor as myself, no matter what decisions either of us make in life, sounds good, but it’s hard sometimes, at least for me. (Matthew 5:16, Isaiah 45:2, Matthew 22:39-40)

In this day of active social media blasts, we have access to the reality of other people’s lives in real-time.  However, with anything in life it has its pros and cons.  I believe we must be careful with our comments and evaluate why we are reacting to the decisions of others as though it is life ending or cannot be altered or in such as way that we would not want to be on the reciprocating end of our own judgement.

Posted in Evaluate

Getting beyond the surface..

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

https://getting2therootofit.wordpress.com

Root:  a base or support; a primary source; an origin; an essential part or element.

When we see a tree that’s been uprooted for whatever reason, the many roots that were securing the tree in the ground are exposed. The roots unlike the trunk, branches and foliage of the tree aren’t pretty or uniquely designed; they are caked with mud, soil, insects and even the roots or vines of other nearby trees may have intertwined with that tree, but they serve a great purpose.  It is the roots of a tree that invades nearby areas to create a strong foundation for the trunk of a tree that may grow to over 100 feet tall and support the weight of several branches and foliage.  The roots are also responsible for feeding the tree with the nutrients from the surrounding environment.

Our lives as humans are like the tree.  How we were raised, our environment as a child and our experiences are our roots.  It is those roots that feed how we perceive or understand the words or actions of another human being.  It is those roots that mold who we are, how we respond verbally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes the many details and distractions of life overwhelm us to the point that we bluntly address the surface issues of ourselves and others. We begin to easily judge and form an opinion (we all have and socially share one these days) about the actions or words of others, because we don’t want to take the time or energy it requires to address what’s below the surface; the beautiful or beastly ideas, disjointed, intertwined, unsubstantiated information, traditions and fears that fuel our thoughts, decisions, words and actions.

At some point in order to bring about continuous healing, growth and a renewed mindset to humanity as a whole we must:

  • decide to be transparent with each other
  • refocus our words, time, energy and love to find out what’s feeding our behavior
  • expose and address the root of the behavior
  • ask questions that helps us to evaluate and redirect the unhealthy behavior to a more positive mindset that will lead to productive behavior.

What’s below your surface that may be hindering you from healthy, productive, joyful relationships or from obtaining the goals you seek each year?  Get to the root of it with productive help from others.

 

Posted in Evaluate

It wasn’t clear, until…

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by:  Cassandra Dennis

As I have discussions with people, scroll through social media and read various articles and books I realize I am not the only one struggling with quitting.  I sit down in November or December of each year and I evaluate what I want to accomplish in the upcoming new year and kind of ignore what I didn’t put forth the effort to accomplish in the current year.  I have my list of goals, usually a duplicate of years gone by and become excited about the new me I will see in the mirror at the end of the next year.  On my list I have:

  • a better relationship with God goal,
  • of course I have my lose weight goal,
  • be debt free goal,
  • save money goal,
  • grow my business goal,
  • be a better wife goal,
  • travel goal, etc, etc.

For some of those goals I had a well thought out plan and some I kind of wing it.  So, are you able to guess how many goals I was able to accomplish in 2016?  I accomplished, 3 out of 10 of my goals.  Why?  Because I only put actual work and obtained knowledge and understanding behind the plans I laid out for  3 of my goals.  The others were my, I’ll wing it goals; so I gave up on many of those goals throughout 2016.

So as I sat down to evaluate where I am in my life, I realize somewhere along the way I began quitting many things I set out to do.  When and why did I become a quitter?  My inner core relationships know me as the “come back kid.”  No matter what life throws my way, I keep coming without hesitation.  However, there was a season in my life that devastated me, my divorce.   Maybe not the divorce (2009) by itself but the events (2007-2009) that led up to the divorce.  It really rocked my world and I let go of so many parts of my character that made me, me and helped me to function and accomplish my goals in my life.  Those around me could no longer count on me when I gave my word, heck, I couldn’t count on me.  For nine years, I began a cycle of quitting.  Other than working and focusing my attention on my grandbabies, I was not dependable for anything else.

This year in 2016, I got tired of being sick and tired and fearful, being a spectator of other peoples lives; so I made the decision to change my direction.  I stopped isolating myself, I began to step outside of my comfort zone, I purged some relationships, I surrounded myself with people who were seeking out their passions and acting upon them.  I incorporated new ways of doing things, took classes, served others, and leaned on my husband (marriage restored); all of this was through being obedient to the direction from the Holy Spirit and pushing past easy.

Out of the nine years of my quitting journey I learned:

  • Change requires decisions, sound decisions and actions.
  • I can desire the best out of life, but if I don’t plan and work the plan no matter how hard it gets to have the best, then I never truly desired the best.
  • Know me, know my gifts, seek to know and understand my passions.
  • Don’t compare my journey to someone else and don’t be distracted by the words or actions of others.
  • I must know what I want to achieve. I should not be vague, but be specific enough without being anal retentive in order to create and work a plan.  Does it involve training, a mentor, volunteers, a business plan, what’s the cost, etc?
  • I must be flexible, in case plan A doesn’t work or needs adjusting I need to have plans B, C, D, E & F already laid out to prevent me from entertaining the idea of quitting.
  • I must be willing to purge some unhealthy relationships.
  • Have inspirational quotes, stories, music and like minded people around me to encourage me to persevere no matter the challenge.
  • Most of all, by implementing the above items I have tools to combat the fear of failure.

My life during that time wasn’t clear until I made the decision to get to the root of why I became a quitter and became tired of existing.   This part of my journey led me to a path of truth and transparency.  It is that path that is unfolding opportunities and elevating a restored marriage.  Want to know more?  Keep checking in.