Tag: #getting2therootofit

Posted in Inspiration, self reflection, Transparency

Been Down, But Not Out

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

WOW!! Okay, where do I start? Well, I’ll begin with the rudder, the catalyst, the straw on the camels back that began to stir and steer me in a new direction in my life.

I attended an “Own Your Shit” workshop a week ago. The intention of my attendance was to support the Facilitator, @MariannaSousa. I ended up in a safe environment that began the path of healing me of events from my past. Although the events occurred in the past I now understand the reason for my alter persona, Miss Nice Nasty. I separated myself from this persona a few years ago, but she still lives within me causing an internal conflict between who I truly desire to be and who I and others want me to be for the sake of my ego and their entertainment. In this workshop @MariannaSousa led me through the connections between that little girl, who experienced trauma in her life to my current mindset and actions. You know I hear healing direction such as this and say, “I know this” or “that has no bearings on who I am now.” Bullshit!! Unless I have truly healed from those events, not swept them under the dirty, shag carpet or buried it in the deep dark corners of my mind, but truly healed from events of my life they are playing an active part in my current mindset and actions.

The key is not to dwell there or to continue to carry the burden of someone else’s words or actions, it is to OWN my healing from those events by following that sometimes invisible thread from then to now and understanding why I am making the decision not to wear my “Big Girl Panties” and choosing to live out the actions of that hurt and misunderstood little girl. In this workshop I wrote out two questions and one exclamation to ask myself and others before automatically defaulting to Miss Nice Nasty.

  1. Is it true? Is the information being presented true, not my and any one else’s opinion, but is it factual? Then decide if I even what to act upon that fact.
  2. Does it align with my goals or passion? If I don’t set my own standards and goals, someone else will and I will live my life for others and not for God and me.
  3. I am worthy of more! Stop settling for less because I am growing weary in my pursuit of my goals and passion. Strengthen my endurance level physically and emotionally and cease the “I quit” mentality.

All of this seems simple and it can be if I had not decided to live a compromised life. It is the rudders (the small things) of life that can steer you to triumph or destruction. I realized as I grew older and my children no longer needed me, I began to exist (living out who others want me to be) instead of reaching back and updated past goals and renewing my passion. To be honest, I still don’t know what my passion is, but I do know I enjoy sharing my life experiences with others. Which leads me to why I am sharing this with you. I want you to know, no matter the stage of our life we can always hit the RESET button and renew, refocus and heal; that power is always within us and is completely up to us. After all my life is my own, there is no one else on this earth that can live out the true, transparent, AUTHENTIC me.

Therefore, I encourage you to be empowered, be authentic and be TRIUMPHANTLY you.

Posted in Goals, Inspiration, renew, self reflection

What’s Your Mantra?

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

What’s your mantra: your hymn, your incantation, your psalm, your SHOUT? You know the repetitive chant or poem or quote or song  or combination of them all, that keeps you inspired, motivated and keeps you in forward motion on your journey? For NIKE it’s #justdoit, they also promote Kevin Durant’s #risegrindshineagain.

Come on you have one, SHOUT IT OUT, except if you are in the library or church, then just whisper it.  You know the mantra that keeps you focused, that reminds you that strategic action is required to accomplish your goals and to move from one stage and level of life to the next.

I have several depending on what I need to persevere that day, but my main mantra is, “Life:Own it Don’t Blame it.”  See my life is my own.  No matter what decisions I make, good or bad; no matter what has been done to me or what I allowed or what I have done to others, my life is mine and only I can shape it to truly be what I want it to be.  At the end of the day no matter what I portray on social media, does my life truly represent the words I speak?  For me, yes and no, because I’m consistently striving to be the best me.  Although, I live a life of transparency, there are some aspects of my life, where I am faking it until I make it.  Yep, I wear a mask sometimes, not to hide my weaknesses but to hide the ugliness of an intimate part of my journey.  It is during this time that I may be purging and layers of the old me are being peeled away so that the revived, creative, reborn me can press in on the path I am traveling.  It is definitely during these times that I rely on my mantra or a song or my favorite poem to empower me through the challenge, strengthen my resolve, and learn my lesson(s) for the next level of my life.   After all in the words of Oscar Wilde, “I must be myself, everyone else is already taken.”

If you don’t have a mantra, what are you using to empower yourself on those days where you want to give up?  What or Who reminds you not to be easily distracted or encourages you to stare fear in the face and steam-roll that devil.

If you are at a point in your life where you are spinning your wheels, revamp your plan, set a path and commit to it; no matter the costs or sacrifices.  If it’s what you truly desire then the costs and sacrifices will be worth it; and the experiences along the way will be priceless.  Sooooooo, what’s your mantra?  Share it in the comments below.  You never know; your transparency may help someone else.

The song that’s pumping me up for what I need to accomplish today is, “We Livin”, by Tina Campbell.   I’M PUMPED!!! WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Posted in Evaluate, Goals, Humanity, renew, self reflection, Transparency

Living inside my mind

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Painting: A Bug Free Mind

Expressed by:  Cassandra Dennis

Living inside my mind can be exhilarating and dangerous.

Living inside my mind intertwines you within my brilliant thoughts and stories or can envelope you in my perversion (altering something from its original course or meaning) and fears of the “what ifs” of life.

Living inside my mind exposes me; my strengths unrecognized, my weaknesses exploited, the untapped gifts I refuse to share because of fear.

Living inside my mind keeps the true me secluded, isolated, untransformed without a renewed mind.

Living inside my mind takes you on a ride that no roller coaster in this world could compare.

Living inside my mind – STOP! STOP living inside my mind!  I want it.  I want more than the pseudo life, the unclaimed life I have lived inside my mind.  The life of possibilities unrealized because there was no effort applied to make them a reality.

I peaked outside of my mind one day and saw a glimpse of my heart.  A vital organ created to supply my body with oxygen and nutrients was showing signs of failure because I filled my vessel with the toxins of deferred hope and untruths by existing in a state of laziness and fear in my mind.

My desire to actively participate in my journey began to grow again as I began to speak my truth, know my worth, expand my knowledge, gain understanding and live my experiences out loud instead of cowering behind them in silence.  I take steps daily toward living instead of existing.

Life, my life is to be lived in motion, not on canvas; and I’ve realized my smiles, tears and fears are to create a living story of my failures and successes, weaknesses and strengths, the empowerment to overcome fear even while struggling with it.  Renewing my mind and taking an intentional step daily allows me to live freely, to love and like me; and that my friend is liberating.

Posted in Evaluate, Goals

And we’re off…

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

We are 120 days into 2017 and many of us are off and running with our new year resolutions.  Many have started businesses, joined gyms, opened investment accounts, applied for a passport, working on being debt free, downloaded self-help books and so much more.

Or some of us have lost our motivation and given up or started and stopped so many times that we are disappointed with ourselves.  We must remember, this is not a race and we all proceed at our own pace.  The reasons for setting out to accomplish our goals this year must be personal to us; not because someone believes or feels we should do something.  Our motivation must come from within.

Go back to your goal or get it done list and do this for me:

  1. Review your list and decide is this something you want to accomplish or something someone else wanted you to accomplish, and strike through those goals that you know you will not put forth the effort to accomplish.
  2. For the goals left on your list write out to the side your reason for wanting to accomplish this goal, and write out empowering key words or quotes, build a musical play list or audio books or inspirational speeches to listen to when your’re running out of steam.
  3. Write out a mini plan for obtaining that goal.  Remember, without a plan you have already planned to fail.
  4. Place a picture next to each goal.  If it’s losing weight, put a leaner picture of you or a particular outfit you want to get into; if it’s a trip put a picture of that place and your passport next to it, now you get the picture.
  5. Each day refer to your “get it done list” and encourage yourself with what you have written and your visual aids.

Now, get moving we both have work to do.

Posted in Evaluate

Getting beyond the surface..

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

https://getting2therootofit.wordpress.com

Root:  a base or support; a primary source; an origin; an essential part or element.

When we see a tree that’s been uprooted for whatever reason, the many roots that were securing the tree in the ground are exposed. The roots unlike the trunk, branches and foliage of the tree aren’t pretty or uniquely designed; they are caked with mud, soil, insects and even the roots or vines of other nearby trees may have intertwined with that tree, but they serve a great purpose.  It is the roots of a tree that invades nearby areas to create a strong foundation for the trunk of a tree that may grow to over 100 feet tall and support the weight of several branches and foliage.  The roots are also responsible for feeding the tree with the nutrients from the surrounding environment.

Our lives as humans are like the tree.  How we were raised, our environment as a child and our experiences are our roots.  It is those roots that feed how we perceive or understand the words or actions of another human being.  It is those roots that mold who we are, how we respond verbally, physically and emotionally.

Sometimes the many details and distractions of life overwhelm us to the point that we bluntly address the surface issues of ourselves and others. We begin to easily judge and form an opinion (we all have and socially share one these days) about the actions or words of others, because we don’t want to take the time or energy it requires to address what’s below the surface; the beautiful or beastly ideas, disjointed, intertwined, unsubstantiated information, traditions and fears that fuel our thoughts, decisions, words and actions.

At some point in order to bring about continuous healing, growth and a renewed mindset to humanity as a whole we must:

  • decide to be transparent with each other
  • refocus our words, time, energy and love to find out what’s feeding our behavior
  • expose and address the root of the behavior
  • ask questions that helps us to evaluate and redirect the unhealthy behavior to a more positive mindset that will lead to productive behavior.

What’s below your surface that may be hindering you from healthy, productive, joyful relationships or from obtaining the goals you seek each year?  Get to the root of it with productive help from others.

 

Posted in Evaluate

It wasn’t clear, until…

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by:  Cassandra Dennis

As I have discussions with people, scroll through social media and read various articles and books I realize I am not the only one struggling with quitting.  I sit down in November or December of each year and I evaluate what I want to accomplish in the upcoming new year and kind of ignore what I didn’t put forth the effort to accomplish in the current year.  I have my list of goals, usually a duplicate of years gone by and become excited about the new me I will see in the mirror at the end of the next year.  On my list I have:

  • a better relationship with God goal,
  • of course I have my lose weight goal,
  • be debt free goal,
  • save money goal,
  • grow my business goal,
  • be a better wife goal,
  • travel goal, etc, etc.

For some of those goals I had a well thought out plan and some I kind of wing it.  So, are you able to guess how many goals I was able to accomplish in 2016?  I accomplished, 3 out of 10 of my goals.  Why?  Because I only put actual work and obtained knowledge and understanding behind the plans I laid out for  3 of my goals.  The others were my, I’ll wing it goals; so I gave up on many of those goals throughout 2016.

So as I sat down to evaluate where I am in my life, I realize somewhere along the way I began quitting many things I set out to do.  When and why did I become a quitter?  My inner core relationships know me as the “come back kid.”  No matter what life throws my way, I keep coming without hesitation.  However, there was a season in my life that devastated me, my divorce.   Maybe not the divorce (2009) by itself but the events (2007-2009) that led up to the divorce.  It really rocked my world and I let go of so many parts of my character that made me, me and helped me to function and accomplish my goals in my life.  Those around me could no longer count on me when I gave my word, heck, I couldn’t count on me.  For nine years, I began a cycle of quitting.  Other than working and focusing my attention on my grandbabies, I was not dependable for anything else.

This year in 2016, I got tired of being sick and tired and fearful, being a spectator of other peoples lives; so I made the decision to change my direction.  I stopped isolating myself, I began to step outside of my comfort zone, I purged some relationships, I surrounded myself with people who were seeking out their passions and acting upon them.  I incorporated new ways of doing things, took classes, served others, and leaned on my husband (marriage restored); all of this was through being obedient to the direction from the Holy Spirit and pushing past easy.

Out of the nine years of my quitting journey I learned:

  • Change requires decisions, sound decisions and actions.
  • I can desire the best out of life, but if I don’t plan and work the plan no matter how hard it gets to have the best, then I never truly desired the best.
  • Know me, know my gifts, seek to know and understand my passions.
  • Don’t compare my journey to someone else and don’t be distracted by the words or actions of others.
  • I must know what I want to achieve. I should not be vague, but be specific enough without being anal retentive in order to create and work a plan.  Does it involve training, a mentor, volunteers, a business plan, what’s the cost, etc?
  • I must be flexible, in case plan A doesn’t work or needs adjusting I need to have plans B, C, D, E & F already laid out to prevent me from entertaining the idea of quitting.
  • I must be willing to purge some unhealthy relationships.
  • Have inspirational quotes, stories, music and like minded people around me to encourage me to persevere no matter the challenge.
  • Most of all, by implementing the above items I have tools to combat the fear of failure.

My life during that time wasn’t clear until I made the decision to get to the root of why I became a quitter and became tired of existing.   This part of my journey led me to a path of truth and transparency.  It is that path that is unfolding opportunities and elevating a restored marriage.  Want to know more?  Keep checking in.

Posted in self reflection, Transparency

Truth and Transparency…

Posted on by https://getting2therootofit.com

Expressed by: Cassandra Dennis

Sunday, August 23, 2020 – update:  This blog article from December 2016 is what started the thought process for my first book, When the Mask Cracks.  I didn’t know it at the time, but re-reading this article today makes me smile and let’s me know all of my life’s experiences have molded, matured and taught me several lessons which I am now able to share with others.  

Are you intrigued?  Please read on, enjoy the article, then click over to Amazon, follow my Author’s page for future projects, purchase my first book, When the Mask Cracks and share your review.  Thank you.

Freedom…. free mindset, free thinking, freedom in the way I speak, free in how I raised my sons.  I even got fired a couple of times from a job, but I went back to work the next day like nothing happened.  Man, I was a single parent with two boys to feed and clothe, I wasn’t trying to hear, “Cassandra, we’re going to have to let you go.”  “Yeah, ok, see you tomorrow.”  I came and clocked in the next day and went on with my shift.  WOW, as I think back to the way I was in my early twenties and thirties, I have a longing for that younger me.  I was bold in my thinking, I lived in motion, there was no such thing as procrastination; if I thought it, I moved forward in accomplishing whatever “it” was.  Lack of sleep, lack of knowledge and lack of money did not hinder me in whatever I wanted to do. I didn’t dwell upon anyone’s opinion, nor did I seek it.  Why, because another persons opinion was irrelevant to the process of me accomplishing what was at hand.  Sooooo….. what happened?

Somewhere along the way my focus changed, I lost my way and I began seeking the opinion of others, and their opinions became the gospel for me.  Why?  At first I didn’t know.  However, as I began to reflect on my life during a period of several years I realized once my sons became young men and I had equipped them to seek God and care for themselves my focus and my drive was gone.  Everything I was previously doing I was doing for them.  So now the question I asked myself was, “Cassandra, who are you, what do you truly like, do you remember your dreams and do you have the unction to accomplish them for yourself?”  The answer was, “no!”

Even though I had not been married long, being married became a chore, so I made it into a project for me.  I began to mimic my parents marriage, tv show marriages and layered in the information from marriage ministry, where we served.  BIG BIG BIG mistake.  I taught myself to wear masks.  I sought the opinions of others and took their opinion of me and dissected myself down to a person I didn’t know and didn’t like.  So I created a walk-in closet of masks; and depending upon the occasion I wore the mask that allowed me to blend in and to become apart of the crowd. What a mess.

Well needless to say, my husband and I began having challenges in our marriage, infidelity, control issues, and so much more.  I spiraled into depression and fear became a big part of my life.  From that time up until this point, approximately 7 years, I’ve allowed fear to paralyze me from living in my purpose, including even seeking my purpose for living.  For the past three years I have slowly begun a sincere relationship with God and an honest relationship with myself.  I’ve gone through a purging of relationships, masks and emotional bondage, PAINFULLLL!!  But it is what it is, it’s life and life is a journey of good and bad experiences.  It’s how I decide to live out and share those experiences that allows me to empower others as I am empowered.

Is fear still there?  Of course, but I have made the decision to live a life of kinetic energy, in motion regardless what’s over the horizon.  This renewed me has new inspiration, bold dreams and the excitement to accomplish it all, with my husband and our family.  Keep your eyes open, some of what’s to be revealed may inspire you to inspire others.  PEACE…